You've got to be kidding me...

 Dear Heart Attack, Stroke, etc...

You'll be so excited to know that we'll be meeting sooner than I expected.  We'll probably be introduced after I eat this new sensation coming out today.  It's called the Double Down at KFC.  Unsure of what it is?  Well I'll leave you with a picture...it's pretty self explanatory.

Love lots, Theresa

--Seriously?  I'm not very health conscious by any means.  But, I think it's safe to say the Double Down is a bad idea. (ps, I'm really not going to be eating that thing.)